School (for real)

5 January 2016

School started yesterday.

Have you ever wondered if you can get completely destroyed by school in one single day? Let me tell you how. Start last year of JC with your secondary school counterparts (i.e. way too early), with a chemistry test (read: impending doom) and top it off with Mass PE (this very intensive PE system in year 6 where they actually do legit exercises and long runs to train troops of child soldiers) as a garnish. It was a weird. But lethal. Combination.

But now that I survived that first day of school, I've come to realise that it was not that bad after all.

We started the day with an inauguration ceremony. It was nice to see a batch of students looking grown up in new uniforms. In fact, it was so flattering on them, we have inevitably come to the conclusion that some of them look more like 18-year-olds than we do... Why do we look like people who will not have problems getting student meals even after we celebrate our 24th birthday? (That's too lenient. How about - people who will get judged immensely and get our ID stared at when we buy hard liquor from Cheers?)

I remember being like them. Sitting among some familiar faces, and some faces that I can't believe I have never spoken to despite being on the same grounds for 4 years. A little bit excited, a little bit nervous, but not feeling so much different.  We laughed when common issues were tackled during the speech - opportunities, stress, falling asleep during lectures, failing your subjects, house spirit. Because a year later, we somewhat know what life from now on will really taste like. It will taste unpleasant during tough times. But fruits that we reap from this journey will somehow taste rather sweet.

Also, that test was no different. Yes, I read a question and went okay so where's the exit again but other questions were fine and there was time to go back, finish it, with even some time to spare. And when it's done you don't feel so much other than "yeah I did my best I guess." So I realised, that's how much of this year is going to be like. It going to be test after test, each one making you study progressively towards the big thing, so that when it comes it is hardly a surprise. Things become a routine, and you no longer sense fear.

No mention about being tired, though.

School has also been a constant reminder that this is our final year in school and if we want to end the year with our best attempt at the A levels, we have to start now. Every single teacher has said that so far. While it might have motivated me that little bit, I feel that I still, as always, am at a complete loss as to how I should feel.