To: December

Dear December,

I went out with a friend today. She has always been a friend who brought odd moments of comfort, even though our paths diverged about 5 years ago.

December, it is funny how some people never change. I mean, we are all very volatile teenagers, going through changes in our mind and body beyond our means, whether we want it or not. Every day we are a self-help book on How-to-Adult: taxes, responsibilities, crushes, eyeliner, heels, phone calls, punctuality, beefing up resumes. Even though the damn hormones had its way of changing our physical selves (thanks, I didn't need that fancy dermatology going on my face), some things really stay the same.

So that was what she was. When she speaks, her mouth pulls downwards in a way someone who doesn't know her will probably take offense at. I munched on Thai food as tasty as all her qualms and quibbles about life. Even as we decided to walk the whole stretch from Kovan to Hougang, there she was, still complaining, talking a little too loudly, but always very sensible. That's her.

But December, I can't help but feel that as you aged, you forgot to bring me along. Because even if both of us as beings never changed, we can never the same as before. Surely you knew that someone that gregarious will always find more interesting company. It's not an accusation that she no longer values me, it's just how asking her for a catch up or even talking to her physically always seem to end up in physical voice message or tagged with a follow up on mail. Yet when she needed me like those fortnights ago, time and distance were never barriers to me.

I can't help but feel left out because I suppose I still treasure her as some of my greatest friends but she doesn't really seem to care that I sometimes need her too.

And I let it go because I understand she is not obliged to.

With love,
Me