I told myself that I probably should stop coming here, 'cuz you know, the impending A levels and all. No biggie.
But I felt a pressing need to come up here just release some of the built up "stress" from the past 3 weeks of January.
In short, I went for my SATs for the second time yesterday, and this time obviously I prepared much more than I did for the last. Except that I got horribly lost in a land I was not familiar with moments right before the test. Damn, this isn't some philosophical lost about feeling like you don't belong and struggling with a sense of purpose among a sea of unfamiliar faces or whatever, in fact I was put quite simply, literally, just lost.
The girl who thought she had an affinity with maps lost her way in the north-eastern part of little Singapore.
I have never been to that area before, relied a lot on apps to navigate around busses and stuff but when I alighted I just had no idea where I was. Google maps told me I was quite far from the supposed destination. I definitely needed to walk more than 192m, just that I only had 10 minutes before I believe I can seriously be barred from taking this exam my parents paid lots for. To say I felt panic was an understatement. I ran across roads, each time sighting available taxis only on the side of the road I'm not on. Every passer-by had no idea where the place was. Called a taxi, phone reception decided to give up. Out of desperation, I called my Mum and seriously, I don't ever call my mum for things out of distress because I could always solve it. But I've already wasted 20 minutes still lost in the middle of Yio Chu Kang Link, so I thought why not. Even though she was worried (like, hello, your daughter is panicking for the first time how can she not be) she still consoled me and told me it's alright, I won't miss the test, and in the middle of the call received another call from a taxi uncle who managed to arrange a pick-up with me. We zoomed to the school, and I manage to run with this school personnel to my room to discover that everyone only just started to write their names (not even at the circle shade-in and whatnots).
In short, I almost thought I was going to miss my test which I believe should be rather important, but I just made it and managed to not miss a single component of the 3 hours 45 minutes test. Oh, but what an experience. If I am going to be late for my A levels, come at me bro.
With this, I conclude one of my commitments for this year, and I hope it frees up my days just that little bit more.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Thursday, January 7, 2016
School (for real)
5 January 2016
School started yesterday.
Have you ever wondered if you can get completely destroyed by school in one single day? Let me tell you how. Start last year of JC with your secondary school counterparts (i.e. way too early), with a chemistry test (read: impending doom) and top it off with Mass PE (this very intensive PE system in year 6 where they actually do legit exercises and long runs to train troops of child soldiers) as a garnish. It was a weird. But lethal. Combination.
But now that I survived that first day of school, I've come to realise that it was not that bad after all.
We started the day with an inauguration ceremony. It was nice to see a batch of students looking grown up in new uniforms. In fact, it was so flattering on them, we have inevitably come to the conclusion that some of them look more like 18-year-olds than we do... Why do we look like people who will not have problems getting student meals even after we celebrate our 24th birthday? (That's too lenient. How about - people who will get judged immensely and get our ID stared at when we buy hard liquor from Cheers?)
I remember being like them. Sitting among some familiar faces, and some faces that I can't believe I have never spoken to despite being on the same grounds for 4 years. A little bit excited, a little bit nervous, but not feeling so much different. We laughed when common issues were tackled during the speech - opportunities, stress, falling asleep during lectures, failing your subjects, house spirit. Because a year later, we somewhat know what life from now on will really taste like. It will taste unpleasant during tough times. But fruits that we reap from this journey will somehow taste rather sweet.
Also, that test was no different. Yes, I read a question and went okay so where's the exit again but other questions were fine and there was time to go back, finish it, with even some time to spare. And when it's done you don't feel so much other than "yeah I did my best I guess." So I realised, that's how much of this year is going to be like. It going to be test after test, each one making you study progressively towards the big thing, so that when it comes it is hardly a surprise. Things become a routine, and you no longer sense fear.
No mention about being tired, though.
School has also been a constant reminder that this is our final year in school and if we want to end the year with our best attempt at the A levels, we have to start now. Every single teacher has said that so far. While it might have motivated me that little bit, I feel that I still, as always, am at a complete loss as to how I should feel.
School started yesterday.
Have you ever wondered if you can get completely destroyed by school in one single day? Let me tell you how. Start last year of JC with your secondary school counterparts (i.e. way too early), with a chemistry test (read: impending doom) and top it off with Mass PE (this very intensive PE system in year 6 where they actually do legit exercises and long runs to train troops of child soldiers) as a garnish. It was a weird. But lethal. Combination.
But now that I survived that first day of school, I've come to realise that it was not that bad after all.
We started the day with an inauguration ceremony. It was nice to see a batch of students looking grown up in new uniforms. In fact, it was so flattering on them, we have inevitably come to the conclusion that some of them look more like 18-year-olds than we do... Why do we look like people who will not have problems getting student meals even after we celebrate our 24th birthday? (That's too lenient. How about - people who will get judged immensely and get our ID stared at when we buy hard liquor from Cheers?)
I remember being like them. Sitting among some familiar faces, and some faces that I can't believe I have never spoken to despite being on the same grounds for 4 years. A little bit excited, a little bit nervous, but not feeling so much different. We laughed when common issues were tackled during the speech - opportunities, stress, falling asleep during lectures, failing your subjects, house spirit. Because a year later, we somewhat know what life from now on will really taste like. It will taste unpleasant during tough times. But fruits that we reap from this journey will somehow taste rather sweet.
Also, that test was no different. Yes, I read a question and went okay so where's the exit again but other questions were fine and there was time to go back, finish it, with even some time to spare. And when it's done you don't feel so much other than "yeah I did my best I guess." So I realised, that's how much of this year is going to be like. It going to be test after test, each one making you study progressively towards the big thing, so that when it comes it is hardly a surprise. Things become a routine, and you no longer sense fear.
No mention about being tired, though.
School has also been a constant reminder that this is our final year in school and if we want to end the year with our best attempt at the A levels, we have to start now. Every single teacher has said that so far. While it might have motivated me that little bit, I feel that I still, as always, am at a complete loss as to how I should feel.
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