Somehow in the four days following the end of As, I managed to muster the energy needed to crawl out of my humble abode and make a new pair of spectacles for myself. I met Shanice at the spectacle shop because I value her fashion advice, and not because she happens to live nearby. We (together with a very friendly sales assistant who we later found out was a super nightlife person) actually spent more than an hour completing mission xy-needs-new-specs. So this is the story of how I became the owner of a pair of mainstream, hippy, wide-framed, tortoise-shell spectacles.
But I knew I had to get a pair of new specs anyway, because I wanted to look more presentable in my trip to China for a couple of weeks. It has been four years since I went back to visit my relatives, and I missed two weddings and one family road trip in the process, thanks but no thanks to the need to remain near school during most of the holidays.
Going to China will always have a special place in my heart. As a first generation Singaporean, I have spent my entire life and developed my own identity based on this little red dot. Despite the special circumstances where I speak (rapid) Chinese at home, and never ever add any Dodo fishcakes, cheese tofu or chicken cheese balls in my homemade steamboats (God forbid, we add entire bunches of parsley into our boiling soup;) I know that the equally interesting situations where I didnt get a distinction in my Higher Chinese Os or having never actually read/ memorised any legit Chinese novels are a testament to how I have grown up in a culture different from my parents. Still, I deeply treasure the ties I have with my relatives back home and I know that they will always dote on me as their granddaughter or niece.
There's something about China that whether I like to admit it or not, had grown onto me. I'm not very sure if it is the zinc roofing, buildings that could use a fresh coat of paint, or the 11-digit phone numbers that somehow look a little scary when it is printed out in big and bold. I remember when I was walking through the a estate in Choa Chu Kang of my cousin's newly bought home, when I casually remarked, "this place smells like China." Now, you may think that I caught a whiff of the Sembcorp truck, but I realised afterward it was because there were people smoking in the void deck. Somehow, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke in the air has been subconsciously wired to the thought of China in my head.
Just like how mantou has joined my family, my relatives have also taken in a number of furry kids into their home. They are so attached to their dogs that my aunt specially stays behind during CNY while the rest of the family return to our hometown just to accompany and feed them. Perhaps, taking care of animals seem to be a natural progression from the void of children who are all grown-up, married and all.
In hunan, the temperature was much cooler and it almost became too much for my tropical skin to handle. There are certain things that are extremely comforting, and I guess they stem from an appreciation of warmth during the harshness of the cold. Back at home, my family has long stopped boiling water in a kettle, and has opted for a water dispenser which my parents argued is more cost-effective in the long term considering the cost of gas for the amount of water yielded per kettle. While this means convenience, I almost forgot how much better a cup of tea can taste when it is made from piping hot water with visible wisps of steam. And of course, albeit laden with lard, nothing beats the deliciousness of home-cooked food from my grandparents.
I went on this trip as a (growing, angsty?) teenager and I definitely carried with me the philosophies I have developed in the recent years. This is really the first time I visited my relatives as someone who is much more aware and with an understanding of people or the issues of the world. Where I used to view my family through rose-tinted glasses, I realised there is more to what meets the eye. There are very real family conflicts going on, which I was unaware of as I lived 4 hours away by plane (and also because "kids" ought not to "meddle in adult affairs",) there is history that's hard to swallow, and for the first time in my life I came face-to-face with the notion that my grandfather is going to die. Death is an inevitable end to every life. But it hit me harder than it should have when I thought of my own grandfather. I am selfish, I am human. There is a certain elusiveness to the feeling of having your mind and heart opened at the same time. For that, I know I love my family, and I will remember my relatives always - even if I do not see them every day.
I spent two weeks in China - where I visited relatives in the first week, and went to play in the second. My parents have departed for SG and left my brother and I to travel free-and-easy with my cousins. It is with great spontaneity that they decided to bring us to Guilin. The moment my cousin discussed that with me, I was shrieking because I shit you not. Guilin was an extensive example for karst landforms and given that I am a geography nerd, I can already hear the rolling limestone hills of Guilin calling out my name. I don't memorise thousands of words in a essay about your formation only to miss a chance to visit you, babe.
These pictures were taken on a
On the 3 hour boat ride to Yangshuo, where I saw conical hills in the vast horizon. They are exactly what I envisioned them to be. The geog nerd in me sighed in satisfaction and plunged off the boat into the Lijiang river. I know it did. Mother nature is amazing.
Ultimately, this post is very summarised piece on what went on in China, and it does not do justice to the enormity of the emotions I felt and lessons I gleaned. Some bits are precious and I will have to keep it within me. I know, that in choosing to visit China, a part of me has changed forever. And I can't wait to uncover the gems of this great place, of my roots and my multi-culture upbringing, in the remaining years of my life.
x
