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I think we both acknowledge that we shared a very unique connection, one that will not allow us to forget each other anytime soon. 

There was attraction. I wanted to go look for you after your talk but I decided it was weird (you beat me to all that, anyway). When the world around us doesn't exist, we know we are quite fond of each other.

I haven’t felt this kind of connection with anybody in a long time. This is why what we shared is even harder to forget, and a part of me is so frustrated. How am I going to vibe with another person in the same way again?

I try to reason with myself, that what I am feeling now is nothing more than an infatuation. Though I’ve told you more than I told anybody, I don’t think the conversations we had were sufficiently deep or giving of who you are as a person. Though we get along so well, the fact that I always have to second guess how you are feeling about this whole thing is not good. Though you notice things about me, you can’t seem to remember where I stay. Though I like to think I am confident about myself, I am a little intimidated by your abilities and I doubt I can match up to you. That the truth is we have barely known each other for 3 months and sadly we cannot go any further than this in the foreseeable future. We both have space in our life to have a bit of fun and give in to our desires to flirt dangerously but honestly nothing more than that will materialise. You are crazy ambitious, and soon leaving on your inevitable journey of self-discovery. 

Yet, what is tough is the wishful thinking that eludes all rationality and logic. That no matter how I reason with myself (which I think is already done in a very mature and resolute manner), it all fell apart the last we met. 

Maybe its our banter which I will never admit that I enjoy. How you actually brought attention to parts of myself which you think I should be more accepting of. Allowing me to know a side of you which many do not begin to understand. Our connection which locked in tightly with me since the day we met, really. That you are some of the smartest and most aware people I've ever had to privilege to meet. Your touch lingers on my skin. 

When I left and was alone by myself, I felt an unexplainable sadness and almost teared up. I hate it, so many questions, so little time to answer all of it while we can. I don't think I want to prolong our friendship if it is going to die, frankly when distance separates us and our conversations die I think it will hurt. I guess, I will force myself to move on. I have to.

But I write this for the nights when my head is too active and sleep precludes me, or when my mind wanders even when I’m doing work I supposedly enjoy. Maybe one day when I can’t take it anymore, I’ll go back to the places where we once shared a moment, give in to my feelings, and sink into a memory that I wish was my reality. For a few moments anyway, it shall be.